50 Shades of Red

[ironsides]

As we've all probably seen and read, the screenplay adaptation of the critically acclaimed romance novel 50 Shades of Grey has been a smash hit at the box office raking in almost $250 million dollars (myself having seen it 4 times already).

To celebrate both this monumental accomplishment and my recent decensoring on the forums I have decided to make what will no doubt be the first completely serious roleplay thread on the Nostalrius™ World of Warcraft™ Vanilla™ server forums.

There are no real guidelines as to what you post, although I will be posting some of my favorite scenes from the book and adding a World of Warcraft™ spin.

From the steamy elevator makeout scene

“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike stunlock above my head, and he’s cheapshotting me to the wall using his fist weapons … His other offhand grabs my hair and he kidney shots me, bringing my face up, and his lips rolling need on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His two hander is against my epic chest.” (Page 78)

General dirty talkin from Christian

“Show me how you slay boars for hours on end … Keep still … We’re going to have to work on keeping you awake, baby, maybe some mountain dew? … Let’s see if we can make you level like this … You’re so deliciously rested. God, I want you … I’m going to gank you now, Miss Steele … Hard ... Spirit res for me, Ana.” (114, 116, 117, 118)

From when Anastasia has a lot of fun with Christian

“He leans down and teabags my corpse, his daggers still moving rhythmically inside me, his perditions blade circling and pressing. His other hand scoops my Crimson Felt Hat off my head and holds my head in place. His tongue mirrors the actions of his daggers, corpse camping me. I am sapped and begin to stiffen as I push against his hand hoping that heartbeat resist works. He gently uses preparation and coldblood, so I’m brought back from the brink ... I healthstone and pot instantly again and again, falling apart beneath him … then I’m soulstoning again … I log onto my alt, and crossfaction whisper his name.” (195, 196)

edit: fixed a few grammar typos, got flustered from writing my fave passages out

[Shadow]

50 shades of nothing must be the most complete colection of bad cliches ever to see the light of day on the pages of a book. watching the grass grow or counting the grains of sand in the desert would be more rewarding.
Long story short, if you never read that piece of .....it would be to soon.

[Sable]

Fifty Shades of Grey has the deepest plot ever to be found in a softcore novel series. Ironsides, it is interesting that a sophisticated man such as yourself is into the same book series as I. You also play on World of Warcraft private servers which is a major bonus. You are so alluring. I hope you don't mind me sending you a PM so we can meet up and maybe hit things off.

Now, to get back on topic, I want to share with you my favorite quote from the series:

"Leaving my knickers sunny side up on the floor was the least of my worries as his core hound tooth probed deeper into my fart valve. The feeling of his wang snot haemorrhaging down my throat got my vertical moisture flowing quicker than greased weasel scat. Hours of pounding like this would leave any girl's open-faced ham sandwich looking like Pete Burns' lips, and I was no different! Some girls are happy just to fish for pearls when they're alone, but I can't get off without having a 9-iron in my moose knuckle and a gerbil up my fart tube. With his muffbuster hammering deep into my ladytown, the sensation of his wensleydale wand smashing my poo pipe made me quiver like a tasered slab of chopped liver." (Fifty Shades Darker, 89)

I believe that Ironsides and I can bring this fantasy to life. *wink*

[Ghostly]

whyyyyyyy

[dsquidvicious]

Okay okay, i'm convinced. Nostalrius is definitely the server for me. Brilliant job ironsides.

[DeeMarie]

'I'll do whatever you want,' I whispered seductively. Soon I drenched in sweat and panting desperately. Who knew digging out the Grizzly latrines would be such hard work.

...

'I'm a very naughty girl,' I confessed, biting my lip. 'I need to be punished.' So they docked me fifty dkp for pulling the whelps.

[Daemon]

Moved in off topic.