<Massivus Pussies> now recruiting!

[matt]

whisper Fatherthommy for an invite to this fun, good, guild! we clear half of mc in 5 hours!

[Faleene]

What is a Massivus Pussy? Urban dictionary defines pussy as 1. Nice name for a cat,2. Slang for women's genitals , 3. Cowardly. As the resident house cat I believe Massivus can actually be all three of these definitions. Firstly, we are a loving guild that caters to cats of all racial types and genders. Secondly, although Massivus has a preference towards males, a women with a Massivus 'hump in the rump' may strike close resemblance to a male's posterior. Lastly, Massivus are often the most cowardly, especially when it comes to Shazzrah. All of these traits can very much be considered core in defining that Massivus are in fact, Massivus Pussies.

Firstly, Massivus is a guild that loves cats and everything they stand for. As many of you already know, our resident Cat/Healer/Owl hybrid guild member, Papablaze had recently came into possession of a large litter of kittens. Since Massivus believes in sharing the love of our friendly felines, many have ventured off into new homes. Currently Papablaze is the foster father to a small adorable kitty whom is blessed with 'dat ass'. Our resident house cat, and owner of Faleene's Friendly Felines™, Faleene, also known as Katzen by our resident german, Tinkywinky, is currently the girlfriend of raid leader Healadin. Healadin is a strong believer in keeping guild members, and especially cats very happy. In exchange for goods smuggled from the Catnip Cartel, Healadin showers our resident rogue kitty with many epics, including Cenarion Helm. Healadin does not do this to spite our druids, but rather because he loves the pussy so much. Massivus is a guild that just loves to keep our cats and pussy happy.

Secondly, Massivus Pussies is the type of guild you just want to go down on and then run far far away when you realize your ex smells a fishy for 3 and a half years. Well that about sums about the second trait.

Lastly, Massivus are by far some of the most cowardly people I know of. Not only does Massivus run from enemy players in a battleground, they also run aimlessly as they die in Molten Core. The first of which, involves battlegrounds. I once witnessed what could be one of the most cowardly acts in PvP: fleeing from the enemy as he tries to kill you. Elunicorn is a person that could very well describe the players of Massivus: Cowards. During a wsg match Elunicorn had picked up the flag, and decided to flee the enemy horde base as he was being pelted by random slicings and dicings of horde warriors and rogues. Rather than choose to fight he decided to backpeddle back to our flag cap while using shield wall and relying on healers to keep him alive. Cowardly and selfish might I add. The last and possibly greatest way Massivus is a cowardly guild comes in the form of our Molten Core raids, or rather the 'Throw bodies at the boss until it dies' strategy. As some of you may know, Massivus has been experiencing some difficulties in the Molten Core, specifically on Shazzrah. As everyone knows the strategy is to tank Shazzrah in the tunnel between gheddon and Garr, with the raid on one side (along with the offtank) and the main tank on the other side. Well here is where Massivus become cowardly. When Shazzrah teleports to the main group, rather than the offtank taunting Shazzrah and pulling him back to the main tank, the entire raid begins to run around aimlessly as they die from Shazzrah's arcane explosion. Rather than fight the good fight they choose to die, and waste more of the guild bank's money on greater arcane resistance potions.

In summary, I hope that all of these traits can help define Massivus, as truly being Massivus Pussies. From being a loving group of roleplayers that love cats, to imagining a lady's swollen ham wallet looks like that of a gently groomed male's rear, to being cowards and running from players and bosses until death. Calling Massivus, pussies, cannot be farther from the truth. To end, I leave you with the Nostalrius dev motto, "If you do everything right, no one will know if you did anything at all. So do it all wrong and claim it's right."

[matt]

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